Late night thoughts.....

Here I sit with a case of insomnia (again) and I am realizing that I actually enjoy this late night time that I have all to myself. It is very quiet and I am having fun listening to music through my headphones and just day (night) dreaming.

In my slightly warped little mind, I am more relaxed at night. I love being outside at night with all of the smells and quiet breezes. Have always been that way so much so that my Dad used to call me his little vampire. Things seem more honest at night. People tend to tell the truth when they are not being judged by their physical appearance (at least that is how I see it). I have always hated the sunlight; too hot, too bright, hurt my eyes. When I was younger during the summer when school was out I would only go to bed if I saw the sun coming up over the horizon.

And night is when lovers make their promises. They may be promises that are only true for that moment but it is a magical moment. The light of day tends to burn the passions away and "real" life responsibilities come back into play. Maybe you are only with the one that you truely love at night. The one that you can't have during the day. The one that you choose to share your life with (marriage, commitment) may turn out not to be the one person that makes you feel whole. Awww, but I dare to dream......

Zen out!

Power and Danger......

I am sitting here alone and wondering what I would do with my life if i didn't have to worry about money. Anything I want.......mysterious and a little dangerous. I think that I would really get off on the power of those two things.

In movies and books I tend to root for the bad guy. The one that no one wants to cross. The one that when they walk into the room it makes everyone take notice. Part of me wouldn't care if they liked me or not but as long as they feared me a little that would be such an ego trip!!!!!!!

I think that is why I like paranormal romance (oh that label makes me cringe a little as I never thought that I would ever, EVER read romance!!!!!!!) novels so much. To know that you have the power is quite intoxicating. I think that is why so many people flirt. It is a power of a sort. At least it is an ego boost. To know that you can still draw someone in with your looks, charm, wit, or whatever (cleavage does come in handy) makes one feel very good.

Ok, so is it bad to flirt with someone in cyberspace? I don't really think so. I think that it is quite fun to have someone respond to you in that way. Kind of safe and dangerous at the same time!!!!!

Zen out!!

Ok, Here I Go......

Ok, whew! I think I can get in the swing of this. Never thought that I had much to say but just maybe I do!!

So I have decided to take a journey that I will definately have to do on my own. I have decided to take control of my life as much as I can. Don't get me wrong, I am not what you would call a push over by any means but that is only the case with external forces. When the internal forces begin to push I can topple sometimes.

A little about myself. I am a very sarcastic, opininated, loyal, over-protective 40 year old woman who is not afraid to admit that I am also a BIG geek! I love almost everything sci-fi and am trying to get into MMORPG's. Have started attending Con's (thinking about dressing up for the next one as I have discovered my wonderment of corsets, the tighter the better!!!). Favorite color is colbalt blue (not sure what that says about me). Married. Miss my Dad who was my Monster Slayer. Wish I could really sing (I may be able to but have never really tested the theory!). And have to admit, if given the opportunity to become a vampire I would.........

My goal with this blog will be to put my thoughts out there, fling them to the universe and see what happens. Thoughts, fears, annoyances, frustrations, dreams and wishes will appear from time to time. Might not always make sense but I think it is more fun that way!

Zen out!